Thursday, January 5, 2012
This is the way I would love to spend my winter's days......yes that is me in the red coat!
I went to work today, the first day back of the new year. By the time it was over, I realised that the job itself is still the same but I have changed in many ways.
My desk was still cluttered with files waiting to be processed. I was still waiting for promised funding to come in and I had the same type of phone call trying to bring in other funding that was supposed to help me run the non profit organization. Yet no one in the government office seems to know where the money is.... yet it was also promised in a news release by the Minister.
I found myself back into the craziness of a job that will never change for it depends on politics and promises that I have to fight for on a yearly basis. I never know how I am going to pay the summer staff nor how I am going to operate a cultural tourism institution with out any money. Then I have to go begging to try and bring in enough to get through another year without any help from anyone.On top of it all I am alone to fill in all requests, do the paperwork, manage and build the exhibitions, do the marketing, manage the small staff, answer the phone and be an all around nice person all the time and take the flack for every problem that arises? A crazy way to earn a living for sure. Yet I do love much of what I do and I do believe that the institution has great potential but I can no longer work in the same way.
Yes I learned a real lesson today and its that the only way things will change, is if I change and this is what this blog is all about this year. Me, changing the direction of my life for my own well being. I can stay exactly where I have been for the last 12 years and struggle through the frustration or I can make a change towards a new possibility.... time will tell. Change means breaking a life pattern... ouch!
Words of wisdom for today.........................
Every act of creation begins with an act of destruction.