From Annie's manuscript that she wrote.....
Maybe I should not be writing this for who knows who will read it, but I feel I have to so that I will be understood. As I write it, I feel I am making peace with myself, forgiving myself for the choices that I made way back then. It all happened so suddenly and once it started it was as if I had got caught up in an unfamiliar part of life that I had no experience with, yet I went after if as if my life depended on it. I know I hurt some people but it was my life and for the first time, I wanted what I wanted, not what they all wanted and expected from me. I had suddenly came alive and the real me stepped forward. I believe life does that to us all for we are who we are meant to be and at some point, life forces us to shed our outer layers and face the reality of our souls desire.
His name was Jeff and he was from a small town in Alberta. He had travelled across the country selling and delivering typewriters. He said he loved his work because he got to travel and meet so many people. When he stopped by my place that day, his life changed as well. Had he known what lay ahead of him, would he have stayed the night?
He held me close and I could feel the beating of his heart. His arms felt strong and I felt myself mold into his embrace. I was so afraid as I reached to put my arms around his neck. It felt so good and I forced myself to look into his eyes. I felt weak. As we both stood there shaking and holding on to each other, he gently kissed my lips, with a warmth I had never known. It was the first time I had felt passion and it was magnetic for I held on to him as if nothing else in the world existed. That night I layed in his arms and we talked until the early hours of the morning. He was a gentleman and never did anything but hold me that night, despite an awakening and need inside of me. I was afraid and yet I was not, for a longing that I had never known burned its way through my good girl common sense.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of him cooking breakfast on my mother's new wood stove. What would she had said if she knew what was going on in her kitchen. Afraid that he would see me in the early morning light, I made my way to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked a mess with my hair uncombed and my face pale and tired looking. Yet my eyes were bright and full of life. I quickly splashed water on it and brushed my teeth. I tied my hair up in a loose ponytail and headed downstairs to see him holding out a cup of tea for me. I smiled and reached to take it but he set it on the counter and reached for me instead. Once again, I was safe and warm in his arms and felt like I was the happiest person in the world. I could not imagine being this way. The word love suddenly made sense to me and I repeated it over and over again in my head, smiling to myself.
Looking back on my life, I would have to say that this was the happiest day of my life.
Okay folks, that is it for tonight. I have to go and get ready for work tomorrow. I promise I will write a few entries during the week ahead. Please leave a comment if you have read it. Thanks Teresa for your comments, I appreciate them. I will soon be adding a way for you to subscribe to this blog as soon as I figure out how to do it. Then you will be able to be notified by email for each entry and will never miss a part of the story. Thanks for reading it and have a nice evening!